Today we will talk about the topic of manipulation, because consciously or unconsciously we become victims of manipulators, to the extent that we are lost in time and space with ourselves, unable to oppose, because we no longer believe in ourselves.

VICTIMS OF MANIPULATORS I became my own victim with someone else’s will and conscientious manipulation. Lonely and tired, eager for attention, nice words and manners. Eager for security and support, I longed in the darkness and every night it made me long, to tuck my head on someone’s chest and sleep … Just to sleep, safe sleep, no jerks, no people hurting me, no tears … I hug myself !
I fell in love with the night, as God, who was the only one who listened to my silent prayer and gave me strength for a new day and a fight that was just around the corner. I felt a heavy stone on my chest that did not allow me to breathe. And with a heavy effort, I inhaled the air, looking at my chest, how hard it was to move. I was in love and ready for all the craziness because of the father of my children. Where did that love go? How thin is the thread from love to hate? Why I miss the hug. An honest, strong, masculine hug. I forced my brain to sleep, but without success. And at the crack of dawn, when the first roosters are already heard, a deep sleep overwhelms me and I always dream, I am always in Alice’s dream in Wonderland. And I live and breathe … Surrounded by people who fill my heart with happiness … I sank like the Titanic, because with the force of a desperate soul I hit a huge iceberg and broke in half … I sank, but I didn’t dare … Mollla life to teach me to be a fighter, to skip the unthinkable
To remember only the most beautiful,
To forget the bitter taste in my mouth..And that every tear will dry up once.If it’s the moon, just a wanderer through the night,
but that the sun comes at dawn …
I was afraid of my basic steps …
Because, so weak, I hit obstacles,
Where there are falls., Where there are wounds and unbearable pain

Nobody’s woman playing manipulators

Dawn always reminded me that I was alive, showering the sun’s rays over my tired face and bringing back a smile, where sadness left a deep mark of pain. Smile and big steps tomorrow. As it should be.And every day was like a copy. I force myself to smile and sing, I spread positive vibrations … I strain every part of my brain twists. But it’s hard … It’s hard, when someone becomes a stranger to you and you know that, every sacrifice was in vain. It’s hard when you don’t love your someone anymore, because he killed the woman in me, the woman who loves and wants … It’s hard, when you go back to the same question years ago, “Whose wife am I?” “Alone and own … Nobody’s !!! She always was, just nobody’s.

Then comes the violence

And every time I get a heart attack, I think, “enough is enough, more” .. But somehow it’s not … Years of bad decisions are coming. Clumsy guidelines and rusty signposts. On that path of life, where there is no signpost, nor any warning, that you are on the wrong turn, He entered my life, He! A magical smile and words of consolation in a half-drunk state caused a bad decision to be made. In the whirlpool of life, where we do not know how and where to sink, nor in what way to affect the hands of salvation, at a given moment, where we do not see the difference between the Sun illuminating the day nor the Moon wandering through the night, one warm word and one dangerous moment ., just a moment …. And your life is going in the completely wrong and fatal direction. And it becomes a life that is not worth living. I only know one thing, that I longed for some shoulder, on which I will tuck your head and feel safe. It’s in my brain instead the squeak of tires and blood echoed … violence … For the first few months, I felt like a queen. Everything was sweet, served in the palm of your hand, wrapped in pink cellophane, as if waiting for a moment, to open the evil, which is wrapped in beautiful foil and to start the mission

My life became his property

Black thoughts and a life without a goal, in slavery and the claws of violent behavior, took me part by part. I was disappearing. The smile totally fell silent. I didn’t work. I lost everything. Jobs, friends … My life became his property

Think of the people who care about you

I lived the life of a mummy for months. She assembled her brain and body piece by piece. I didn’t see people as they passed me and looked at me strangely. For months I lined up, the people I love and who have suffered with me. The faces I left in Serbia, the people I desperately wanted to hug. I had a strong need to talk to them while looking them in the eye, to tell them all how much I love them, how much I miss them. I walked in all these strange people who passed by me, I was looking for my faces, my people, where the heart remained, in the country of Serbia. I desperately tried to see my old mother and to hug and cry her like a child, in her lap, where I only felt safe, to bring back the time of a carefree childhood, until I got up from my arms and broke away from evil people, to fight like lion. Where I fell, to correct mistakes. I met on the street, various people, my faces are nowhere to be found … And then, I realized … There are new people, new eyes, new hugs, I love these faces too. I love and I am happy, because they stayed with me there, in the place where I completely broke to pieces. Completely destroyed and put together with them овде.


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